Conflict as negotiation
When you get into the situation that’s escalated into conflict phase 3 (enduring), there is still time to resolve the issue and the relationship.
However, with phase 3 conflicts, it’s much easier to have a common friend between those involved. The impartial fairness of an empathetic mediator is enough to get the ball rolling; the questions and compromises laid out in the open, even in the most difficult of situations, there really is always a solution.
In the most pleasant atmosphere possible (neutral, comfortable, with full control over light and sound) , Howe’s lightness and humor start people with a smile or two.
In Suggestopedic teaching, the environment keeps changing, the students are in alpha state, and the subconscious is manipulated to positive outcomes. There are 6-12 students, each has to be monitored by the teacher, while the teacher is busy stimulating the group, changing activities, working on the memory faculties of the human brain. Some students are faster, slower, extrovert, shy… Alpha state is very sensitive, and I have to be sure of every word I say.
In a mediation session, it is this sensitivity that enables me to see the forest through the trees of your issues. However, this is not a therapy session, it is a negotiation. The aim is to make a deal that everyone can live by. There is a contract at the end of our session, or, in more complex cases I will send later by email. You are both expected to sign the contract and, in most cases, both parties agree.